January Book: The False Princess

I apologize for the lateness of this entry.

Synopsis/Review:   Nalia goes to bed a princess and wakes up a pauper in Eilis O'Neal's debut novel The False Princess.  Nalia has spent her life in the palace of Thorvaldor. Her best friend is the son of an Earl and she has received the best education her country has to offer.  Then one day she is called to a meeting with her parents where she is informed that her parents are not actually her parents and she is not really Nalia!  She is actually Sinda, a stand-in for the real princess, and she is being sent to a small village to live with her only remaining relative--a penniless washerwoman.  Sinda finds herself inept at the daily drudgery required of a washerwoman and she is scorned by the local teens.  She soon discovers that she possesses the gift of magic and she returns to the city to find answers.  Along with the answers she seeks, Sinda rediscovers the boy she tried to push away and a secret deep and dark enough to repave the course of history for Thorvaldor!  The False Princess is a fast read, filled with action and intrigue.  The characters are lifelike, lovable, and enjoyable.  You are sure to enjoy this book.

Book Club Questions:
1. Sinda goes to sleep a princess and wakes up to discover that her entire identity, even her name, is false. Have you ever discovered something about your own past that changed the course of your life?

2.  Why do you think Sinda initially forsakes her friendship with Kiernan? Do you think this response is acceptable?

3.  What parts of the book surprised you?

4. What does friendship mean to you?  What about loyalty?  Trust?

5. What are your overall impressions of the book?

My Birthday, Ancient Holidays, and New Beginnings

"Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of 'you' to the world" ~ anonymous

Today is my birthday.  Usually I celebrate it by going to my favorite restaurant with a bunch of my friends.  I'm not doing that this year.  I'm not much in the mood for celebrating, so I simply did not plan my annual birthday dinner.  I've been a bit of a curmudgeon today.  But it's my birthday so I'll be a curmudgeon if I want to.

To be honest I am just not where I imagined I would be this year.  I have not done as much with the past year as I had hoped to.  I spent this past year grappling with a quarterlife crisis. It was not a happy year for me.

I suppose that's reason enough to celebrate, isn't it?  This is the end of an unhappy period.

March 21st was traditionally celebrated as the first day of spring.  It is the vernal equinox.  The ancients celebrated a sabbat today--it was a holiday. Today was an ancient holiday.  It had many names and the deities worshiped, though similar, had many faces.

In Germanic lands the fertility goddess Eostre was worshiped.  Modern pagans call this day Ostara after her.  The word 'Easter' is derived from Eostre.  Eostre is a goddess of new birth, new beginnings.  People celebrated by symbolically painting eggs.  Rabbits and baby chicks were given a day of reprieve and were usually not eaten on March 21st.  Rabbits, chicks, and eggs all symbolize fertility and new birth.  Today is thus a day of new beginnings.  It always has been.

So it is appropriate that I celebrate my birth today.  I was born on a day of new beginnings.  Every year I get to begin again, to renew and begin my life with a fresh start, and I get to begin again on a day that was once revered as the day when the whole world and all life experienced a new birth--a new beginning.

So Happy Birthday to me and to the whole world.  Here's to new beginnings and fresh starts!

Junk Foodie Turns Health Nut

I like junk food.  If it's fried, it's fabulous.  If it's sugar coated it's scrumptious. If it's fatty, it's fantastic.  I like Paula Deen y'all, and I think she's right--everything does taste better with butter!

I told you I was a junk foodie. 

Unfortunately for me, my love for junk food showed at my last physical.  I've gained 5 pounds in 6 months and my cholesterol is 199 (borderline high).  Yow!  I did NOT see that coming! 

Neither did my doctor, and let me tell you he was not happy with me.  He sent me to a nutritionist (and then I was not happy with him). I just knew this nutritionist was going to try to take away all my yummy food.  I'm a meat and potatoes kind of girl hon!  Don't ask me to eat salad!  Ewwww!

I went for my consultation the day before yesterday.  I was right, by the way.  The nutritionist does not like any of my favorite foods.  Who doesn't like fried chicken?  Seriously?  Then to top it off she tells me I should try to cut out my sweet tea!  Cut a girl some slack darlin'!   I'm from the south.  I need sweet tea like I need oxygen.  I am not exaggerating.  I'll give up my chicken, but please don't take my tea!

She finally caved on the sweet tea, but she suggested I should only use half a cup of sugar per gallon.  Clearly she does not understand what sweet tea is. 

She also wants me to count calories--something I must admit I am not very motivated to do.  I am doing it. I am also trying to follow her food rules *sad face*.  I already miss my butter.

I know I need to get healthy.  I am making positive changes (suggested by the fried chicken hating nutritionist), but I have to to tell you---this isn't gonna be easy folks!

Roxy: A Lesson in Love (from a dog)

The house behind my grandparent's house (the house I grew up in) was a rental.  It was owned by a bails bondsman and you never really knew who was going to move into it.  The year I turned 12 a very mean man moved in.  He had a fluffy, black chow chow.  He tied one end of a rope around her neck and he tied the other end to a post in the yard.  He never bothered to pay her any attention.  Sometimes he forgot to feed her. My grandpa started sneaking her food when her owner wasn't around. One morning this mean, awful man got mad.  I don't know what he was mad about, but he beat her.  He beat this beautiful dog.  I didn't know what to do, so I ran inside and told my grandpa. 

That day when I arrived home from school an unexpected sight met my eyes:  there at the top of the hill in our back yard set a dog house and next to that dog house set the beautiful black chow.  I dropped my book bag on the kitchen floor and yelled for my grandma.  All she said was the dog was our's now and her name was Roxy.  She was just shy of two years old.  I still have no idea how my grandpa did it, but I always knew he was responsible for this gift. I asked my grandma if I could play with her and she told me I could but warned me that I would have to earn Roxy's trust first. 

I grew up in a house of animal lovers.  I had been raised surrounded by fluffy creatures, and I knew the drill.  I walked slowly up the path toward my new dog and her doghouse.  I chose a spot several feet away from her and I sat down cross legged, careful not to stare at her.  She growled low in her throat, her hackles raised.  She was scared.

I spoke softly, gently, "It's okay girl. I won't hurt you."  I didn't say another word for hours.  I just sat there, silently, staring into the space beside the frightened dog and remaining very, very still. 

The sky turned orange as the the sun began its descent and finally as the last light of day sank into the earth the beautiful, frightened animal came ever so cautiously to my side and sniffed my hand. 

By the end of the week Roxy and I were inseparable.  We were the best of friends.  I loved her immensely.  She was wounded, and I knew something of what it meant to be wounded.  I think she sensed that. 

The day she died I was a grad student working in the dean's office.  I walked into work with tears in my eyes.  I was devastated and my heartbreak was written all over my face.  My boss (the Dean) asked me what was wrong and I told her.  I sobbed and sobbed.  She sent me home.  She said she knew what it was like to lose a beloved pet and she thought Roxy deserved my day of grief.  So I went home and I cried all day.

I wrote this blog that day.  It was the day I lost my best friend.  I still miss her and occasionally I still cry.  This wounded, abused animal taught me more about love and life than most people I know.  Roxy had been horribly mistreated at the hands of humans.  She could have decided to hate all humans, but she didn't. She could have chosen to bite me or attack me that bright day in May all those years ago, but she didn't. She is a dog many would have deemed unsaveable, but my grandpa thought we could save her. In reality though I think she is the one who saved us.  At the very least, she saved me.

The Shoulds...

Should: v. must, ought (used to indicate duty, propriety, or expediency), from dictionary.com

Culture and society teach us that we 'should' meet certain expectations.  These expectations vary by culture, but such suppositions are always present.  I am an American, thus this post will address 'shoulds' that are culturally and societally specific to the United States (though I suspect many will be applicable to other cultures/societies). Inevitably, some of the 'shoulds' discussed will be author specific (and therefore possibly only applicable to myself).

Let me begin by defining what I mean by shoulds.  Shoulds are expectations that when not met result in emotional turmoil or discontent.  Shoulds are the material goods, life events, and ideals we believe we have a duty to possess or complete. We feel a need to live up to our shoulds.

My culture has a case of the shoulds.  As Americans we believe there are certain ideas/images/things we are duty bound to have.  

Some American Shoulds

• I should have the American Dream.
• I should own a house.
• I should have a car.
• I should be a model thin woman with a perfect body.
• I should be a muscular man with athletic prowess.
• I should be married.
• I should have 2.5 children.
• I should be sexually desirable and sexually active.
• I should watch the newest movies and listen to the most popular music.
• I should buy the latest gadgets, the best computer, and the biggest television I can find.

I'm sure there are more, but the above listed shoulds seem to be the most prevalent.

I think shoulds vary by education level.  If you have a college degree your shoulds change (and you might even get a few new ones):

• I should have a career.
• I should have job stability.
• I should make a lot of money.
• I should be financially successful.
• I should buy a BIG house.
• I should buy a luxury car.
• I should own stocks.
• I should be respected professionally.
• I should work for a certain company or live in a certain neighborhood.

Then we have our personal shoulds.  Here are some of my shoulds:

• I should know what I want to do with my life.
• I should have a career by now.
• I should travel a lot more than I do and have more stamps in my passport.
• I should have a baby soon.
• I should be happy and productive.
• I should be a success.

The dictionary says a should is an expectation that indicates duty.  The thesaurus lists the following words as synonymous with duty: obligation, responsibility, burden, work.  Let's think about this for a minute.

Are we really obligated to live up to all of these shoulds?  Are we obligated to buy a house or get married or have a certain job?  Obligated to whom?  The mythical Joneses? Uncle Sam?  Our unborn children?  Ourselves? Who is going to kick the bucket if you don't follow these shoulds? Are you obligated to these shoulds?  No. We are not obligated to anyone to do or have any of these shoulds.

Do we actually have a responsibility to meet these expectations?  Do we have a responsibility to have a baby?  For what?  The continuation of society?  Do we have a responsibility to be smoking hot and have lots of sex?  That sounds pretty irresponsible to me.  Do we have a responsibility to buy a fancy car or a giant tv?  How are these things responsibilities?  To be responsible means to be answerable or accountable.  If we don't have a giant television or six pack abs who are we accountable to?  Culture?  The next door neighbor?  Your boss?  Does Joe Schmoe at the coffee house hold you accountable for what kind of car you drive?

Holding on to the shoulds is a burden and it is a lot of work.  The shoulds generate stress.  The shoulds are unrealistic.  The shoulds are not a productive use of time.  You don't owe anyone these shoulds.  A should is something that makes you feel bad.  A should is something that if you asked yourself 'Do I really want that?' the answer might be no.  What we should do is identify the shoulds in our lives and let them go. We should focus on goals, not shoulds.

A goal is an attainable and productive achievement.  A goal is worth striving for.  A goal is something you really want, something you want for you not something you want just to impress Mrs. Jones across the street.  A goal is something that will make you feel good.  A goal will improve you in some way--internally, not just externally.

I'm letting go of my shoulds.  I'm going to make goals instead.

E-readers, the Future of Publishing, and an Unlikely Success Story

The publishing industry is currently in a state of flux.  Everyone knows changes are in store, but no one really knows what form these changes will take.  It is an exciting and somewhat scary time for writers, agents, editors, and other publishing professionals.  Books sales are down, but certain genres--like YA--are holding steady.  Many bookstores are facing major financial difficulties and some (Borders and Joseph Beth for instance) are even closing stores. 

In light of the current economic crisis, you'd think these difficulties could spell the end for booksellers, writers, and publishers.  One author from New York Magazine actually declared an end to book publishing as we know it.  Maybe he's right.  New technology has certainly set the publishing world on its head.

E-reader sales are thriving, and so are e-book sales.  In May 2010 e-book sales jumped by a whopping 252% in the first quarter alone. Many speculate that e-books will bring about the downfall of publishing, much to the horror of paper-book-lovers everywhere. David Young, C.E.O of Hatchette Book Group USA even said the low pricing of e-books could mean death for the publishing business.  There are plenty of people out there who probably agree with him.  Maybe some of you even agree with him.

However, it seems that it is still possible to make some big bucks in e-book format.  Indie author Amanda Hocking certainly hasn't suffered in the new era of e-publishing.  Hocking, just 26 years old, is a self-made millionaire.  She self-published her books using Amazon's program for writers.  She is a kindle bestselling author, and she did it all without a publishing contract or even a traditional publisher.  

Some may say that Hocking is the exception not the rule, but interestingly enough 19 of the top 25 current bestselling kindle authors are unknowns not previously affiliated with publishing houses.  E-books are doing well and e-book only authors don't seem to be suffering for it.  Everyone isn't likely to make it as big as Hocking, but Hocking certainly proves that e-book only publishing can be profitable.  

Like it or not folks, it looks like the e-book is here to stay.

Babies, The Secret, and My Weekend

On March 3rd my cousin welcomed a beautiful baby girl into this world.  She's 8 pounds and 7ounces of pure perfection.  There is something about little chubby new babies that just makes the world a brighter place.  As I held little Caitlynn, I was caught up in a moment of unadulterated baby bliss.  I'm not sure it's possible to be more at peace than you are when you're harboring a slumbering infant in your arms.  I left the hospital happy and content.

Since I was in town I decided to go visit my grandparents.  Before I left to go home my grandmother gave me a copy of The Secret.  I vaguely remember this book being quite a big deal immediately following its release.  In fact, I think it was even turned into some kind of documentary or something.  And Oprah talked about it a lot.  I didn't really pay much attention at the time.

So as my grandma handed me this book I thought Well if it's good enough for Oprah, then it's good enough for me!  I drove home curious to begin reading this little book and wondering what all the fuss had been about all those years ago when it was released (I think it was released in 2006 so it has been a while).

I began reading this book last night, and so far it doesn't seem to be suggesting anything too outlandish.  The Secret seems to be about the power of positive thinking.  It says you should identify what you want and believe you'll get it.  It also says you should work to banish negative thoughts as they occur.  This appears to be sound advice to me.

I've decided to silence my skeptical half and give it a try.  What's the worst that could come of it?  If it doesn't work then what harm has been done by attempting to be more positive?  I'll be a more upbeat individual, and maybe a little happier too.  Worth a shot, right?

Have any of you tried The Secret?  Did it work for you?  Do you think it's all a bunch of malarkey? I'm interested to hear your opinions.  I'm going to give it a go and I'll let you know how it works!

More Lists

People seemed to enjoy my to-do list post so I decided to post another list post.  I'm a list maker.  I have lists all over the house.  I have lists on the refrigerator. I have lists on the calendar.  I have lists stuck to the outside of my wallet.  I have lists everywhere. Here are a few:

What do I want out of a job?
*mostly regular hours
*decent pay/good benefits
*NOT IN A CUBICLE!!!
*what I do needs to matter (and/or be beneficial to society)
*public interaction is a must
*flexibility--I need some autonomy in how I do whatever I do.
*where I live is more important than what I do=must be able to do it in a place I actually want to live
*nights off!

Vacation Ideas (June, July, or August):
*Savannah, GA: historic walking tours, historic sites, Tybee Island
*Charleston, SC: historic downtown, museum/historic sites, Sullivan's Island or Isle of Palms
*Boston, MA: historic tours, sites and museums, Salem nearby <-- Too far away, maybe later
*Norfolk, VA: historic sites, Virginia Beach, Nauticus
*St. Augustine, FL: historic downtown/museums, nearby beaches<--Too far for this year. Maybe next year...

2011 Immediate Goals:
*GET A JOB!!!
*Get healthy <--half check: I've started exercising...we'll see how that goes ;)
*Apply for grad school
*Figure out what my dream job is (besides writing, of course)
*Plan a garden: front yard <--It's planned. Now I just have to plant it.
*repair fountain: back yard