"Nearly all the best things that came to me in life have been unexpected, unplanned by me."
I am not the kind of person who typically enjoys unexpected occurrences. I like to be prepared for--well--everything. I like to know what to expect.
I'm a planner. I plan everything. I like to know I have a plan in place, and even if nothing goes according to that plan I find comfort in the simple fact that I at least had a plan to start with.
I don't fall apart when I don't have a plan. I can usually roll with the punches. I can adapt when things fall to pieces. I keep a cool head in a crisis. I react quickly and appropriately in most situations. But I still like to know what to expect and when to expect it.
Right now I'm not in a position to really know what to expect or when to expect it. I feel like a snow globe someone tossed into the air and now everything is whirling and spinning and topsy-turvey and I can't see where I'm going to land because all of the snow is in the way.
The worst part is I'm the one who did the throwing. I spun myself out of control and now I've got to deal with it. I think this must be a learning phase in my life. There is a lesson in this somewhere. I think I know what it is too.
I am slowly learning that you can't control everything and sometimes the unexpected, while scary, can also be amazing. Sometimes its what we didn't look for, what we didn't expect, that can make all the difference.
My grandma says sometimes you just have to let go and let God. Now I'm not particularly religious and until recently I thought that particular saying was utter hogwash, but lately it seems more profound and less ridiculous.
Perhaps I can rephrase it to my own liking--sometimes you have to let go and let the universe. Sometimes you just have to stop trying to control everything and just let what will be happen all on its own. Sometimes you just have to throw a little faith out there and trust that someone or something will catch you when you fall.
So that's what I'm doing--throwing a little faith out there and hoping someone will catch me when all the walls come tumbling down.